Friday, September 15, 2017

Grandpa's Dead

Grandpa found a bargain on 3 Musketeers candy -- his favorite Halloween treat. So he bought a couple bags for trick-or-treaters and a couple bags for himself. My wife said, “Grandpa’s in Heaven.” My son said, “When did he die?” 

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Halloween's Almost Here

My 6-year-old son has seen “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” at least 3,000 times. That was just this month. After a recent viewing, he said, “Daddy, it’s Halloween time -- we better get ready for ‘tricks or treats.’” I said, “We have over a month until ‘tricks or treats.’” He said, “Then we better hurry and get pumpkins and candy and our costumes, and decorate the house -- ” I cut him off. “We have plenty of time, son.” So he asked, “Then can we watch ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’ again?” I said, “No, it’s Halloween time -- we better hurry and get pumpkins and candy and our costumes and decorate the house . . .” 

Thursday, August 24, 2017


While eating dinner at a restaurant, my 6-year-old son held his knife and fork together and said that the two were magnetic. My wife and I played along, not wanting to discourage the use of his imagination. And then he showed us that his knife and fork were, in fact, magnetic, dangling the fork from the magnetized knife. 

Good Reason

There’s a perfectly good explanation for the garage band down the street. I’m told someone will make up the explanation later. 

Manners, Please

After returning home from the store, my 6-year-old son asked if he had good manners. I still can’t figure out what he wants. 


My wife and I finished some exhausting housework, then took a stroll down Town Center Drive to find a place to eat -- neither one of us wanted to cook. As we strolled, my wife told me how she’d hit her limit, that she was mentally and physically worn out, that she wouldn’t be able walk back to the car after dinner, that she might not make it through dinner without passing out in her plate of food. Just before she could fall flat on her face, she saw that “pearlized leather” Coach bag in the store window and regained energy to run inside and gawk. 


BAM! My 6-year-old son banged his head on the roof of the car as he settled into his car seat. I asked if he was OK. He said he felt great -- in that instance he knew he’d grown taller since the previous day. 

Free Couch

My 6-year-old son and I were on a walk to the park when we came across a couch someone had placed in front of their house at ...